


Chocolate Therapy

by Darkknightsrevenge



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Ben & Jerry's, F/M, Modern AU, Rebelcaptain - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23553217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkknightsrevenge/pseuds/Darkknightsrevenge
Summary: Jyn Erso hates Christmas and everything that comes with it after being abandoned by her family and having to put her cat down. But then a customer at her Ben and Jerry's begins to change things for her. Can Cassian help her out of her shell and make the world a little bit brighter?
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 19
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

Jyn scrubbed the counter at the check out stand and checked the ice cream cone shaped clock on the wall. 8 minutes until her shift was over and the store could close for the night. The store was empty, the giant ice cream shaped lights outside were reflecting on the beginnings of the first snow.

Hard to believe. It was halfway through December and they hadn't had any snow yet. If everything worked her way, there'd be a foot and half by that night and she wouldn't have to come into work the next day.

The bell above the door jingled. Seriously? Who needed to harass her for ice cream two minutes before her shift was over?

"I'll be with you in a moment." Jyn said, going to toss her rag in the back sink. The bell jingled again. And again. And again.

"Sorry, can we still get ice cream? It's like five till and we just got out of a movie." The lead customer said, gesturing to the huge group of people behind him. Jyn swallowed hard and plastered on her best customer service smile.

"Sure. You want a sample?" She was really earning that Christmas bonus.

That's right. Christmas. Her least favorite holiday. She'd be spending the whole day at the store. Then home, alone. Just like every year. This time she didn't even have the benefit of her cat's company. She'd had to put Doodad to sleep earlier that year. Thinking about it made her feel all broken-glass-ey inside, so she pushed it away and focused back on the customer in front of her, who was taking his sweet time choosing a flavor.

"Nah, bro. Pick the Cherry Garcia. It's a classic." His friend said, pushing him towards the other end of the display case.

"Come on, guys. She probably wants to get home to her family." The girlfriend of the lead guy said, shooting Jyn a sympathetic face.

Cute.

The guys motored into action, lining up to place their orders.

Jyn inwardly thanked the girl, underneath her first impulse of snottish scorn. She didn't have any family to go to, but she wanted to get out of there all the same.

The bell on the door tinkled once more, and one more customer joined the lineup. Jyn resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She needed to lock the door.

One by one, she made her way through the customers, the big group of movie-goers deciding to take their ice cream down the street. That left one last person, who was eyeing the ice cream like a hawk.

"I'm sorry to make you wait." He said. His voice was smooth and deep. Jyn pressed her lips into a half smile and held her scoop at the ready.

"One scoop of chocolate therapy please. In a bowl."

While Jyn scooped, the customer walked down to the end of the counter by the register and stared out the window. Snowflakes were beginning to drift down.

"Couldn't wait until late tonight, could it?" Jyn said, sighing. The thud of the counter lid closing echoed around the shop. The customer said nothing. She rang up his ice cream and passed it across the counter.

"That'll be $3.05... when you're ready."

"Your accent... It's not from around here." The customer said.

"Neither is yours."

He gave her a hard stare, and Jyn pursed her lips.

"My mother and father were seasonal workers in the cranberry bogs up North. They came up the freeway with me when I was a baby."

"I see. DHS up on your shit for that?"

The customer gave a wry little smile and handed her a bill.

"Every so often... Keeps things interesting."

Jyn handed him his change and then began closing the store in earnest, turning out the front light and preparing to sweep and mop.

"You never said where you were from." The customer said from his booth. Jyn jumped. She'd almost forgotten he was there, she'd been so engrossed in mopping.

"My parents brought me over from England when I was seven."

"I see. I assume you took after them somewhat?"

"I did." Jyn swallowed a lump in her throat. "But not anymore."

"I'm sorry." He said, getting to his feet. "I didn't mean to offend."

"It's fine, it's fine... Really." Jyn waved him off and turned to her mopping so he wouldn't see the tears pricking her eyes. It's just that it was almost Christmas, and she'd be alone once again. She'd survive.

"I upset you." He said.

"No, no. It's fine. I just... Christmas is a hard time. But don't worry." She didn't want to look up at him.

"If it's any consolation... I can empathize with you."

"Thanks... Err..."

"Cassian. Cassian Andor. And I'm sorry to make you close late. Stay safe getting home." He said before disappearing out into the dark and cold.

Jyn blinked. Cassian Andor. Sounded South American enough. She wondered what he really meant by him empathizing with her... But she shook it off. The floor wouldn't mop itself. She had to get to the bus stop before the last bus came or it would be a cold walk home.

She finished swirling the mop across the floor, locked the register, then scooped herself a small scoop of chocolate therapy for the walk to the bus stop. It was her favorite flavor, and god knew she needed some therapy.

Outside, the snow just kept falling. Jyn bundled up in her coat and headscarf before disappearing into the dark and cold.


	2. Chapter 2

As luck would have it, it didn't snow spectacularly that night, just enough to make the ground slushy and the cold air nip at her cheeks when Jyn set off for work the next morning at 10. The bus stopped right at the edge of a puddle, making her soak her Uggs in pursuit of a ride... And that was why she carried extra shoes with her.

It was a 20-minute bus ride from Jyn's apartment complex driveway to the complex where the Ben and Jerry's was. During that time she usually listened to music and stared out at the city going by, but today she closed her eyes and listened to the other people on the bus. She hadn't slept well at all, the house had been cold and empty when she had gotten back, and she missed her cat's familiar warmth.

The bus stopped at the curb right on schedule, giving her ten minutes to get into the store and clock in. While she walked across the complex to the Ben and Jerry's, Jyn noticed a somewhat familiar form shoveling slush in front of the movie theater. It was the guy from the night before with the Chocolate Therapy. Cassian? Yeah. He was here early too.

He looked up from his shoveling for a second, Jyn forced a tight smile and little wave. He didn't respond, just buckled down to his shoveling. She picked up her pace and made it to the Ben and Jerry's, feeling a little embarrassed. She was probably unrecognizable underneath all the layers and without her stupid ice cream shop hat, why did she wave?

Opening went as rudimentary as possible; count the register banks, clean the counters, check the cooler temperatures, do inventory. She'd been in the middle of mopping when she remembered that they were out of Pistachio Pistachio and needed another tub before the customers started rushing for Saturday shopping. Jyn went to the back and began lugging it out.

She had just gotten it situated in the cooler when the bell tinkled and a customer walked in. She looked up and her face did an odd job of hiding her surprise. Cassian was standing there, breathing into his cold hands to warm them.

"Good morning?" Jyn asked awkwardly. "...Chocolate Therapy again?"

"You guessed correct. Cone please this time. I'll get it now on my break, and save you the trouble of closing late." He said with the same odd smile from the night before. He fished his wallet out of his pocket and approached the register. Jyn already had the cone scooped and held it out to him.

"You work long hours." Jyn said.

"So do you." Cassian said, a small smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Got to make a living, eh?"

He pulled a wad of bills out of his wallet and passed them to her, and she fetched his change.

"I don't usually come in until 5pm, but they were short staffed and needed help with the snow before the crowds started rushing for that new Marvel movie." Cassian added. 

"You like watching the movies while you're working?" Jyn asked.

"I don't actually work the films, unless someone calls off. I mainly do maintenance."

"Oh." Jyn replied. "That's unfortunate... I guess. Movies are great."

"You think so?" Cassian asked.

"Yeah. It shows us worlds where things are a little less sucky." Jyn said, clearing her throat and offering him a tight smile. Cassian just looked at her with his deep eyes. She couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"You're probably right, I'll have to see one sometime." He finally said. He moved to put his wallet back in his pocket, but the motion caused his ice cream to wobble off the cone and land dramatically on the floor.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry. I didn't pack it right. I'll make a new one. Let me clean that up." Jyn said, flushing. She hurried out from behind the counter with a couple of rags, but suddenly her feet went out from under her. Instead of landing on the floor, she was enveloped in strong arms.

"Shit!" She exclaimed.

"It's all right." Cassian replied. Jyn opened her eyes to see Cassian's steady expression just inches from hers. He gently pulled her up and returned her to a standing position.

"Um, thanks." Jyn checked herself for signs of injury. A bolt of pain twinged through her ankle and she winced.

"You're hurt."

"Damn shitty mop job." Jyn said, tears pricking her eyes. Cassian helped her to a chair.

"Do you mind?" He asked. She shook her head and he started probing her ankle joint.

"Just a little twist." He pronounced. "Unless you think you need to go to Urgent Care."

"Do they teach you medicine as part of your janitorial training?"

As soon as she said it, Jyn regretted it. Cassian's face closed off.

"I'm sorry. That was mean, I-"

"I used to dream of being a doctor. But in this country, it's not so possible. Not for people like me."

"I'm so sorry, Cassian. I didn't mean-"

"I need to get back to work. Somebody has to shovel this snow. After I get the main walk done I'll dig you out." Cassian stood and adjusted his coat. Jyn's stomach flipped uncomfortably.

"Your ice cream-"

"I'll get it another time. Thank you." The bell tinkled as he left. Jyn's eyes welled with tears of shame. 

* * *

The rest of the day was spent with a bag of ice taped around her ankle and anxious as hell. She jumped every time the bell rang, thinking that it was Cassian coming back. She rehearsed her apology over and over, trying to make it meaningful.

The last hour of her shift became a madhouse; patrons of the movie theater poured in for ice cream, more than usual. It was all she could do to stay on top of the orders with her ankle aching.

Then, suddenly, he was there at the end of the line. Jyn caught a quick glance at the clock, which read fifteen after close. And there were still people milling on the sidewalk outside. She quickly scooped Cassian's order, handing it over the counter. She tried to catch his eyes, but he was out the door before she could say any more, another wave of customers rolling in.

By the time she got the restaurant cleaned and closed up, it was way over an hour past quitting time. Jyn clocked out and tiredly tossed herself into a chair and pulled out her laptop. She'd had to stop paying for wifi at her apartment and had been resorting to stealing the internet at the shop on breaks and after shifts.

Logging into her email, she swore as she saw eight emails from her publisher. She was over deadline, out of ideas, and out of time for this contract. She put her face in her hands as tears of anxiety and frustration surged.

A light knock sounded at the door. Jyn looked up, startled. Cassian was standing there, two styrofoam cups of coffee in his hands. He gestured to the locked door.

"We're closed- you probably knew that, I'm sorry." Jyn said, unlocking the door.

"I came to see you." Cassian replied, holding out a steaming cup to her. "Can I come in?"

A draft of icy air blew in behind him as she let him in, a few snowflakes dancing to the floor.

"It's snowing again?" Jyn said in dismay, shutting the door.

"Unfortunately." Cassian said. He took a seat at her table and looked out into the dark at the snow. Jyn considered her options, then retreated behind her laptop. She tapped her foot anxiously and tried to focus on her word processor.

"What are you working on?" Cassian asked after some time of her just staring at her laptop, trying to force the thoughts to come.

"I'm a freelance writer. I write whatever the publisher contracts me on. Currently I'm trying to write a really basic thing and it's not really happening for me."

"Can I help?" Cassian asked.

"I don't think so. Not unless you really know the key to this fiction piece that doesn't include human sacrifice or pulling teeth." Jyn scrubbed at her eyes, which were beginning to burn with frustration and exhaustion.

"Talk me through it. I may not have a college degree like you, but you never know what I could come up with." Cassian replied.

"I don't."

"Don't what?"

"Have a college degree."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Outside the snow kept coming down. Cassian drummed his fingers on the table and Jyn stared at her laptop.

"How are you getting home?" Cassian finally asked.

"I was going to walk. It's too late to get the bus and I'll need at least another hour here to make any headway."

"You can't work from home?"

"I shut off my wifi because I couldn't keep up with the bill."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

More snow outside. Cassian scraped the bottom of his ice cream cup even though there wasn't anything else left, his coffee long drained. Jyn typed two words, erased them. Erased the last sentence. Blew out a breath. The tears came rushing back.

"You know, I'm not in the habit of telling people this, but life just really... hits hard, you know?" Jyn said, wiping under her eyes and sniffling.

"Tell me about it. The deck is stacked and it's not in my favor." Cassian replied. He got up to throw his trash away and came back with some napkins. Jyn mopped at her smeared mascara.

"My father used to tell me that I could do anything I put my mind to. Now I barely think I can do anything." Jyn said. "I think it's called being in a rut."

"It's a piece of shit. But I believe you could do anything you put your mind to. How is your ankle? May I?" He gestured to her foot, still wrapped in ice. She warily allowed him to take her foot into his lap. He undid the ice and began to gently move the swollen joint.

"It hurts." She replied. "But I'll probably survive."

"Feels all right." Cassian said as he inspected her ankle joint, probing it gently with his long fingers. "A bit swollen. You've had the ice on too long." He prodded a particularly tender area and Jyn yelped, her eyes watering again.

"I'm sorry, I'm probably being dramatic because I'm hungry."

"No dinner?" Cassian asked. He let her foot down gently to the floor. "And you were going to walk home? How far is that."

"It's far, but I know I can make it. I've done it before."

Cassian ran a hand through his hair and looked around.

"Listen, Jyn. Let me help you. I have my friend's car here, I'll give you a ride to somewhere for food and then straight home."

"Cassian-"

"You're going to say that you can't accept from strangers. I've been there. I don't like accepting charity either. I won't do anything, just see you safely home. This area is dangerous after dark."

Jyn bit her lip, weighing the options. She could fend for herself, she'd walked from work plenty of times. But a warm car all the way home... and he seemed trustworthy. She had pepper spray in her purse if things went south, she knew how to defend herself.

"Okay... But I don't need to stop for food. I have some at home." She said, looking up into Cassian's dark eyes. He nodded quickly and then turned and walked out the door, presumably to get the car. Jyn watched him go, then packed up her laptop and purse. Her stomach growled.

There was a can of tuna and a can of beans left in the pantry until payday tomorrow. She could mix them together and really go wild. Groceries were stretching thinner and thinner every month as she tried to put all she could into savings after paying the bills. But she'd had worse, she'd get through. If there was one thing Jyn knew, it was that she would survive the odds.

A pair of dim headlights pulled up outside the store, thick snowflakes falling through the beams. Jyn shouldered her bag and headed out into the cold, flicking the lights off and locking the door behind her. 


	3. Chapter 3

The trip home was silent aside from her quiet directions. Jyn kept her hands on the heater and watched the snowflakes outside blur by.

"Think they'll close the store tomorrow?" Cassian asked.

"As much as I wish they would, I don't think they will. I need the money, too. I run pretty close to the wire on my budget."

Cassian grunted in reply. She pointed to her complex on the right, and the old car turned in, sliding slightly on the pavement.

"Tell me about your story before you leave." Cassian said quietly.

"Oh, um. Well, the guidelines are for a supernatural horror story, word count is 10k or less. So the protagonist needs to face against something supernatural, and it needs to be scary. But this is for a horror webzine, so the stereotypical stuff wouldn't fly."

"Doesn't need to be particularly inventive to be scary." Cassian said. "Keep it simple. Remember, things that don't even seem scary to you could be terrifying to others."

Jyn blinked. It was the most words she'd heard out of her companion at once. And he was completely right, she was overthinking it.

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks. And thanks for the ride." She bundled herself out of the car and into the frigid lot. He gave her a half smile and waited until she let herself into the building before pulling away through the slush.

* * *

The next morning dawned clear and cold, with a good few inches of snow accumulated on the ground outside her window. Jyn hummed as she floated around making her coffee. A story idea had struck while she was making her tuna-and-bean-delight last night, and she couldn't wait to get it down in writing after work. It was Friday, and payday, the best combination of days her schedule could make. She'd work a half day, write for a couple hours, grocery shop on the way home, maybe borrow a DVD from the library as well.

When she went outside to wait for the bus, Jyn was completely derailed by a familiar car parked outside her building.

"How did you-" She started.

"I didn't." Cassian said, taking the cigarette from between his lips and stubbing it out in the snow.

"Do you always-"

"No, my roommate gave it to me on the way out the door." He hopped over an iced-over puddle and came up on the walk to toss the butt into the outdoor trashcan.

"I see." Jyn said. She went to the passenger door. "No judgement."

"How's the ankle? Cassian asked, sliding in the car beside her and bringing with him a waft of cigarette smoke and cologne.

"Tender, but I can get through today just fine."

They waited at the entrance to the complex for the city bus to drive by. With the toasty heater on her feet, Jyn couldn't really be irked at her transportation upgrade.

"So I had an idea last night. You were right, it was simple. I had the epiphany while I was making my dinner."

Cassian grunted in reply, which Jyn took to be a sign to keep going.

"A guy moves into this house, and everything's going great until he starts hearing weird skittering sounds in the walls. He decides to set some traps around the house, but catches nothing. He gets more and more paranoid as he gets less and less sleep, and everyone starts to think he's going nuts. One night he calls a neighbor in a panic, sounding like he's fighting something. They refuse to help him at first, then start hearing gunshots from the house. They decide to come in, and can't find him anywhere. Only a little puddle of blood in the upstairs bedroom. And coming out of the puddle is one set of tiny little paw prints."

Cassian did a double take at her as she finished, eyebrows disappearing into his hair.

"You thought of that? Dios mio, that's fucking terrifying."

"Rats don't bug me, I think they're kind of cute. That's why I thought of that as the supernatural force."

"Can't wait to read it." Cassian said, rubbing his face.

Jyn didn't really have a reply to that. He wanted to read her work? What was that about? Were they friends? Well, if she was in his car accepting a ride they should be, right? They'd known each other two days and he was showing mind-blowing generosity.

Thankfully they pulled up to Ben & Jerry's before she had to think of a reply.

"It's my half-day today, so don't come back for me or anything. And I don't work tomorrow so don't do that either. Um, Have a good day at work." Jyn said.

Cassian nodded at her before pulling back into traffic. Jyn watched him go a moment before going to unlock the store and begin opening.

* * *

The day progressed rather quickly, even though the lines were long and they ran out of Phish Food entirely. Her replacement came in at 5:30, and Jyn almost ran for her computer to start working on the story.

When inspired, she could knock out 10k story in only a matter of a couple hours. She'd finish the draft and send it on its way so she could get it off her plate as quickly as possible. Her agent would be angry, but this was the pattern of her work recently, so she'd probably be happy to hear from Jyn after total radio silence. Maybe the bonus would get her a few months of internet at her apartment.

Jyn was so engrossed in her work that she almost didn't notice Cassian slide into the seat across from her.

"You've been working for some time." He said.

"I have to get this down on paper, I don't have internet at my place and I want to send it off tonight." She replied, barely looking up. Cassian grunted in reply and quietly ate his Chocolate Therapy.

"Done." She pronounced some time later, slumping back in her seat with a heavy sigh. Cassian snapped his eyes away from the window to fix her in his dark gaze. His bowl of ice cream was scraped clean.

"My agent is going to be excited I finally had something done for her." Jyn said. She tapped the keys, sending the draft off in an email. With any luck it would be back the next day with minimal edits and she would be one step closer to that bonus.

"My break is up." Cassian said. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." Jyn said softly, watching him leave. It was raining out, and the tan jacket she'd always seen him in was instantly soaked. He should have something more waterproof if he was always outside... She could look at Wal-Mart when she went for groceries. Maybe they'd have a sale-

Jyn shook herself. What was she thinking? She had to budget, she had to stay organized. Just because she was getting a bonus soon didn't mean she could splurge like this on someone who was practically a stranger...

A stranger who had given her rides to work and nursed her injury, who had shown her more kindness in two days than anyone else she'd known, all without expectation of return. She was a fool if she didn't plan to reciprocate in some way.

She packed up her laptop and bag, bundling herself up in her coat and scarf before heading out to the bus stop. The bus would be by in only a couple minutes, and there was still plenty of time to transfer to the bus that would take her to Wal-Mart, do her shopping, and commute home.

* * *

An hour later in Wal-Mart, Jyn found herself staring at a rack of men's coats, debating with herself.

The sign said 38.99. Her heart said yes because it was perfect. It was a dark tan like his old one, but actually waterproof and insulated. She could picture Cassian in it. But her bank account was sending her red flags. Yes, she could technically afford it. But she wouldn't be able to put nearly as much money aside as was her routine. She'd have to completely re-do her plan.

But the writing bonus. But the Ben and Jerry's Christmas bonus. But she shouldn't actually be such a Scrooge for once. She'd paid her price and denied herself the extra comforts of life over and over just to make her dreams a reality someday. Cassian deserved something nice, Christmas was coming, and she should let herself be generous for once.

Before she could talk herself out of it or argue with herself any more, Jyn grabbed a jacket in his size and tossed it into the cart, walking to the checkout to seal the deal.

* * *

It was Wednesday before Jyn saw Cassian again. Christmas was practically knocking down the doors, keeping her hands full scooping as last-minute shoppers came to grab their presents and stop for a sweet treat. The movie theater was likewise flooded with families flocking to see the new blockbusters. She didn't even notice Cassian in between the rushes until his warm hand was there taking the cup of Chocolate Therapy out of her own sticky one.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." She replied, feeling a smile creep onto her face in spite of herself.

"Can I try Cherry Garcia?" A blonde teenager piped over whatever Cassian was going to say. The bell on the door tinkled and four more customers swept in.

"I'll come by at close." Cassian said softly, putting a dollar in her tip jar.

"Thank you." Jyn shot over her shoulder as she sampled the Cherry Garcia. She quickly lost herself in the melee of orders, keeping her occupied until well after close.

Jyn turned the door sign to "Closed" before surveying the messy restaurant. Drained was an understatement for how she felt at the moment. She was a half an hour late closing this time, the floor was a mess, and her whole body ached.

She'd just fetched the mop from the back when she noticed Cassian waiting at the door. She unlocked it, letting him slide by before re-locking it again. He let out a low whistle at the mess.

"I know. It was a bad one today." She sighed. Cassian peeled a sodden napkin off the nearest table and threw it in the trash can before sitting down and watching her.

"What did your agent say about the story?" He asked.

"Loved it, actually. It came back with only a couple notes and went out to the publisher. Should see that bonus on Friday if I'm lucky."

"Perfect for last minute Christmas shopping." Cassian said. Jyn snorted in derision as she wrung out the mop.

"I don't have anyone to shop for, besides you." She said. When she turned back to the mop bucket their eyes met. His expression was dark and confused.

"What?"

"Why would you do that?" He asked quietly.

"Do you want to know what it is or do you want to wait until Christmas?" Jyn asked, her stomach flipping nervously. "I haven't given someone a gift in a long time so I'm not sure how things work."

"I can wait." He said, eyes flicking down to his feet. Jyn turned back to mopping, her stomach still doing weird movements. What did that mean? Did he not want it? Would he try to make her take it back? Should she take it back? What was she supposed to do? What if-

"I'm sorry, I was caught off guard." Cassian said. His eyes flicked up to her and back down to his feet again. "We barely know each other, I didn't think I would be on your Christmas list."

"I mean, you're the only person I know. So... yeah." Jyn felt tears spring into her eyes, so she turned away to hide them. "Sorry if that made it weird."

Cassian sighed and got to his feet, hopping around her mopped spots to snag a napkin off the counter and offer it to her.

"I've made you cry again, I'm sorry. Can I help with the store so you can get home?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I'll finish mopping, do the counters and tables, and go count the bank. It'll be fast."

"I'll mop." Cassian said, trying to take it from her. Jyn pulled away.

"I got it." She said softly. "I'll be quick."

Cassian put his hands up in surrender and retreated to his seat. After a moment he pulled out a battered iPhone and began to play some soft Spanish guitar music. Jyn paused in her mopping to listen.

"I like this."

Cassian nodded and let his gaze drift out the window. Jyn swayed a little as she mopped, the delicate guitar making her stress melt away a little. She gave a little spin, careful not to slip on the mopped floor again.

"Are you a dancer?" Cassian's dark eyes were on her again, watching her sway with an unreadable expression.

Jyn flushed, falling still and focusing on her work.

"Absolutely not. I have two left feet."

"Don't stop on my account. If you enjoy it, dance."

Jyn's cheeks still felt hot, so she went back to work, embarrassed to dance more. She dumped the mop bucket and got out the sanitizer. As she wiped down tables, the music changed to a tango with a soft beat underneath it. Cassian tapped his foot to the beat, still staring out the window at the slowly falling snow.

Jyn came to Cassian's table and reached out to wipe it off, when a gentle touch to her hand stopped her. Cassian tapped just the tip of his finger against her skin, which sent a shiver down her spine. He then reached out his hand to her.

"Dance with me?" He asked.

"Um, I..." She stammered. He stood up, hand still out. Jyn's heart thumped as their eyes met. She tentatively took his hand, letting the rag fall on the floor forgotten.

Cassian's other hand brushed her waist, barely touching her skin. It was the closest she'd been to a man in a very, very long time. The scent of his cologne washed over her.

"Is this okay?" Cassian said in her ear.

"Yeah." Jyn breathed, relaxing as he gently began to sway them to the beat.

"Can I pull you closer? I'll guide you." Cassian said, breath tickling her hair.

"Yeah, yeah. That's fine." Jyn's brain had long since halted cohesive thought. He pulled their hips close, steering her through a basic tango step. Jyn giggled in spite of herself.

"Holy shit, I'm... dancing?" She laughed.

They flowed through a couple more basic steps, floating around the store. Then Cassian pulled away and lifted his arm, twirling her like a ballerina. As he brought her back in close, the music began to slow for the end.

Without warning, he wrapped an arm around her waist and dipped her low, causing Jyn to squeak in surprise before relaxing. It was just like when he'd caught her the week before, holding her like it was nothing. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because his dark eyes were searching her face in a way she hadn't seen before.

The music stopped, and they stared into each other's eyes. Jyn's eyes darted down, embarrassed, getting stuck on his soft lips. For the smallest moment, Jyn actually thought he was going to kiss her and bit her lip in anticipation before she knew what she was doing. She'd only seen this kind of thing in the movies.

Cassian cleared his throat and let her up, the spell broken as his face became unreadable once more. Jyn deflated a little inside, and tried to school her face to be as impassive as his.

"I'll, um, I'll go count the bank." Jyn covered, scooting away around the counter so that he wouldn't see her embarrassed flush.

"I'll get the car." Cassian growled, clearing his throat again. The bell above the door signaled his exit.

Jyn leaned on the office desk in the back, trying to get her body under control. She'd just almost had a fairytale moment with a guy she'd only met last week. Was she losing her mind? What the hell had just happened...?


	4. Chapter 4

The ride home was awkward. Okay, awkward was an understatement. Cassian was the usual quiet driver, Jyn felt like she wanted to crawl out of her skin. By the time they pulled up to her apartment she was ready to leap out and hide under her comforter.

"Wait, Jyn." Cassian said softly as she pushed the door open. She looked at him, he was chewing his lip and looking out the front window.

"Come to a movie with me. Saturday, since you're not busy." His dark eyes gave off a hint of vulnerability, something that didn't seem the norm for him.

"What?" Jyn was completely derailed by the suggestion. Whatever she thought he was going to talk to her about was not that. He wanted to go to a movie? With her? On Christmas? The man who didn't watch movies at the movie theater he worked at wanted to go to a movie with her? What?

"Um... Don't you... Not..." Jyn trailed off.

"If I got you a present, you'd be embarrassed, no? So let's go to the theater, I can get free tickets."

"You're... not wrong. Okay." Jyn sighed. "What would we even see? If you try to take me to some crappy rom com I'm going to... beat you up. I think."

"We can go to a horror movie." Cassian said, barely batting an eye.

"Won't you hate that?" Jyn asked. She couldn't stop herself from smiling a little at the possibility of Cassian showing a little more emotion than blank indifference.

"I would hate it less than being beat up." The corner of his mouth twitched in an almost-smile. Jyn burst out laughing.

"Do you want my number?" Jyn asked, trying to get herself under control. "I don't really use my phone very much, I keep it off to save battery often, but I can have it on for Saturday."

"All right." Cassian produced his beaten iPhone and passed it to her.

"I can also tell you when we run out of Chocolate Therapy, save you the trip over to the store." Jyn said as she typed her number in.

"I would just get something else." Cassian replied.

"But Chocolate Therapy is your favorite." Jyn said.

"Maybe I come for the company too." Cassian took his phone back from her. Jyn flushed, unable to think of a reply to that. He'd just sat in a Ben and Jerrys after work and watched her clean, probably wouldn't be doing that just for the ice cream. Way to go, Jyn.

"Um, duh, yeah. Should have seen that one. Do you... want to come in for a drink? I have a bottle of wine I've been saving." Jyn found herself asking, completely surprising herself. "Not more than a drink, just a drink. You know...?"

"I do know. Maybe another time." Cassian's blank face slid back into place.

"Right, right, it's late. Sorry I asked, it was stupid and impulsive." Jyn gathered her purse and made to exit, heart thudding in her chest.

"Same time tomorrow?" Cassian asked before she could shut the door.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks." Jyn popped him a wave and closed the car door. Cassian pulled away to exit the circle, taillights glowing in the darkness. Jyn sighed in spite of herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Inviting him in? What was she, a lovesick college student?

Jyn trudged into her apartment building and down to her door, unlocking it and wiping her feet.

"I'm home." She called to the empty apartment before she realized it. Her shoulders slumped unhappily. Where had that come from? She'd tried to kick the habit when Doodad was put down because for the first week after he was put down, coming in the door and not having a ball of fur greet her had sent her into a messy crying spree.

Jyn surveyed her spartan apartment unhappily, the bubbly feelings from talking with Cassian dissipating. There were just times when everything felt so hard. Doodad, the snow, work, writing, the future.

She took herself over to the couch and let herself sink into it. The events of the day rushed through her mind, making her cringe at all the awkward moments she could have navigated better if she was just a little less... her.

Jyn kicked off her shoes and splayed out on the couch, feeling the hot tears trickle down her face. If she were less _her_ she'd be in a completely different place in space and time. She wouldn't be struggling as much, she'd have finished college, avoided both a mental breakdown and the disappointment of her parents, and ended up in a nice house with a nice guy and a nice job.

A ding came from her purse, and Jyn looked around, confused. Her phone must have turned on in her purse again, and she was getting a text message. A text message from who? A telemarketer? Couldn't be her family, not even during the week of Christmas.

She scrabbled with the zipper of her purse and dug the phone out. It was an unknown number, but Jyn instantly connected the dots. Cassian was texting her so she could have his number back.

 _Thought you should have my number too, in case something comes up._ The message confirmed. Before she could put it away, the phone dinged again and another message bubble appeared.

_Goodnight -C_

Jyn typed a goodnight in return, not even thinking about how she was using up minutes on her phone plan. She hadn't texted anyone is so long, what did it even matter? The minutes would expire eventually. Even though it was plain, and very Cassian-like, the goodnight text made her feel a little warmer.

* * *

The next morning, Jyn made her plain breakfast with a little spring in her step. She was plotting some writing ideas for her own content that she wanted to write down and maybe flesh out a little on her break. The inspiration had come out of nowhere but it wasn't unwelcome. She literally never had time to work on her own stuff, she was always either exhausted from work, working on a contract, or poring over her budgets and goals.

A ding from her phone alerted her to Cassian's presence outside. She hummed a little as she gathered her purse and headed out to meet him. Outside, it was cold and bright, looking like it might snow again later. Cassian was inside his car with the heater running, which she gratefully aimed her way once she was settled inside.

"You look different today." Cassian remarked as he pulled out of the lot.

"Really? News to me. I just got some sleep and had some inspiration this morning."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Cassian asked.

"Sure, I guess. It's nothing fancy, but I had some ideas for poetry that I'll jot down on my break. I think it might be an interesting experiment, and I won't get overwhelmed like I would with a novel or short story of my own. Plus my editor always has leads on poetry submissions that pay a little if you get in, so it might be nice to break into that genre."

"Congratulations." Cassian said. "I didn't know you wrote your own content too."

"Trust me, I don't." Jyn replied. "I have enough on my plate with deadlines and work. Plus, I don't think I'm all that creative without a prompt to write to. I'm pretty much ass at everything, including creative writing."

Cassian's eyes flicked over to her, but he stayed silent. Jyn got that awkward feeling like she'd said something that was too much again. She decided to stay silent, and that meant them sitting in awkward silence until they pulled up at Ben & Jerry's.

"Thanks for the ride, see you at close?" Jyn asked. Cassian nodded, but he looked like he was off in thought. Jyn mentally kicked herself; her self-deprecation streak was getting in the way of getting closer to Cassian. Wait, closer to Cassian? Where did that come from?

She was so disoriented by her rapidly running thoughts that she stumbled on the curb as she walked around the car, making Cassian look at her worriedly in the rearview. Cheeks aflame, she waved him off and rushed into the restaurant, only to find that the door was already unlocked. She pushed the door open, and her stomach instantly dropped when she saw who was on the other side of the counter.


End file.
